Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Trust and Transparency

“I desire your trust, which I understand is not an automatic, but I believe with us both being open and honest with each other and if a commitment is made you will trust me as I will trust you.

I want you to understand that there is no time limit of this. Every day is a new day, and like with any relationship if one of us is unhappy then we will talk and work out that issue or part company as friends.”

Source: Wants and Desires by Miss Laura

On this, the sixth day I focused on paragraphs eleven and twelve of your Wants and Desires. While preparing my response I chose as the encouragement to have my plug in my ass the entire time I was writing. I particularly enjoy this encouragement because the feeling of fullness in my ass is pleasurable of course but the activity also very meaningful produces feelings of submission for me.

What I take from what you communicated in the first paragraph is simply that you understand trust is essential to our relationship as it is with all relationships and therefore you expect it. But as you also noted, trust is not automatic but is built and developed over time as we gain experience with each other. I think what you mean in the second paragraph is that you expect me to understand that this relationship, like all relationships is a living thing and a process. While we cannot predict the ultimate outcome, we will learn in time whether we are suited for this partnership as long as we both are committed to the process and to open and honest communication. Should we learn over time that we are not suited for sharing on this level, we still can enjoy the relationship as friends with mutual respect and affection which has already developed between us.

I think you expect trust because obviously trust enables relationships to develop and flourish. When trust erodes, the relationship deteriorates. Doubts, which can creep into our thinking about the behavior of the other person, can act like a poison and a cancer, quickly spreading to sabotage the relationship. Mistrust has a devastating impact on relationships and on the types and quality of the communication that will occur. Typically we tend to associate trust with sincerity, the genuineness of someone in their engagement with us. Reliability is a crucial facet of trust. Time and standards are two critical elements of reliability; examples of this are turning up to meetings at the agreed time, and completing agreed to tasks on time to a satisfactory standard. This is how trust is built and nurtured over time. With regard to the second paragraph under consideration today, I think you included to this as a reminder to me that since a relationship is a process, I do have real responsibilities for nurturing and nourishing the relationship just as you do. I have to be willing to do my own part through honestly and openly communicating with you sharing my wants, my fears, my feelings and my life. Only in this way can we truly learn and experience the possibilities and the potential.

To accomplish these things, I need to be open with you and need model transparency to the greatest extent possible by expressing my wants, fears, feelings and by sharing with you my life, beyond simply the lifestyle activities we share. I need to be willing to be vulnerable and to trust you and to never take your trust for granted, but by my actions demonstrate to you that I am worthy of your trust, as you give it to me in measure. I need to learn by experience to trust your judgment and to be willing to allow you to push and expand my limits so that I might experience growth.

I find myself very much in agreement with the expectations you have expressed in these paragraphs. Trust building indeed is an important and vital element to the potential success of this relationship as is my willingness to demonstrate an attitude of transparency through open and honest communication with you.

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